Jamie
2013-04-29 19:36:57 UTC
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<font size=7 color=red>Click below for Tony’s toons:<br>
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<font size=7 color=red>Click below for related audio:<br>
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<font size=6 color=red>This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:</font>
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<font size=5 color=red>In Case You Missed It Dept.: </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>President Obama's new budget contains cuts to the tax
deduction for charitable contributions. Sure. Why pussyfoot around with sin
taxes when you can tax virtue? </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>A new study shows that California's planned
high-speed rail system will lose $300 million per year. The new California
reverse gold rush: throwing money INTO a hole. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>During a recent hearing, John Kerry said of Benghazi,
"we got a lot more important things to move on to". Like what? The statute
of limitations? </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>After the gun control bill was defeated, President
Obama said, "the gun lobby and its allies willfully lied about the bill".
Huh. I was waiting for him to blame it on a YouTube video. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red> -- Fred Thompson</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>President Obama offered to wash U.S. senators' cars
if they will pass the immigration bill. He wasn't kidding. The position of
car washer in the U.S. government pays a hundred eighty grand a year and you
only have to do it for two months to qualify for a full pension. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>Boston police tracked down and killed one of the two
bombing supects Friday as the brother got away. It was a long night. The
cops asked Twitter to stop giving tips to the suspect by revealing the
police's whereabouts, but they thanked CNN for throwing him off. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>The FBI dug into the past of the Boston bombers to
see if were they radicalized in U.S. mosques. The nineteen-year-old was fine
until he went to college. That's how student loans affect people when they
find out they can't get in-state tuition like the Mexicans do. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>George W. Bush will host his father George H.W. Bush,
Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and Barack Obama at the dedication of his
presidential library at SMU in Dallas Thursday. Imagine the five living
president side-by-side together. If they were cards, you would fold. </font>
<p>
<font size=5 color=red>Boston bomber Djhokhar Tsarnaev was discovered in a
backyard boat by the owner Friday. The guy's wife had ordered him to go
outside to smoke. It's the first time since World War II that tobacco
companies have been able to credibly argue that smoking saves lives. </font>
<p>
<font size=5 color=red>Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was taken by
ambulance to Beth-Israel hospital in Boston after his discovery. He's a
Muslim terrorist who's recovering in a Jewish hospital. The Jewish people
have survived for five thousand years but no one can figure out how. </font>
<p>
<font size=5 color=red>Russian intel confirmed Monday it warned the FBI
several years ago that Tamerlan Tsarnaev was a Chechen-trained terrorist.
It's not like the information wasn't used. The TSA was put on alert to watch
for women who might have a Chechen concealed in their bra. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>Russia offered the West help in tracking Chechen
terrorists after last week's Boston bombings. It has to be a group effort.
Within days the U.S. had tracked down the bombers, Britain beefed up
security for the London Marathon, and France surrendered to Chechnya.
</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>The AP was hit by a hacker Tuesday who tweeted under
the AP byline that the White House had been bombed. It was obviously a hoax.
Under the the new AP stylebook, reporters are not allowed to use the word
bomb, they have to say undocumented boom box. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>Bill and Hillary Clinton will be in Arkansas next
week for the dedication of the Bill and Hillary Clinton Airport in Little
Rock. It's a tribute to both their careers. Half of the airport is a
mile-high club and half of the airport is a coin-operated money laundry.
</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>Canadian Mounties foiled an al-Qaeda plot to blow up
a passenger train traveling to Toronto from New York. Everyone shuddered.
Trains are so susceptible to terrorist attack that we're allowing knives on
airplanes just to try to lure al-Qaeda back to the airports. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red> -- Argus Hamilton</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>All five living presidents will gather for the
opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library. President Obama says he
hopes he can pick up some ideas for when he builds his. It's going to be
called the “Blame George W. Bush Presidential Library.” </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red> -- Leno</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>A new report found that the worst job in the U.S. is
being a newspaper reporter. They say it's better for writers to just focus
on fiction and become a CNN reporter. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red> – Jimmy Fallon</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>----------------------------------------------</font>
<p>
<font size=5 color=red>An elderly man had a massive stroke & the family
drove him to the emergency room.</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>After awhile, the ER doctor appeared wearing a long
face.</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>”I’m afraid Grandpa is brain dead, but his heart is
still beating.” </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>”Oh dear God,” cried his wife, “we’ve never had a
liberal in the family before!”</font>
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<img
src="Loading Image...
<p>
<img src="Loading Image...
<img
src="Loading Image...
<p>
<font size=7 color=red>Click below for Tony’s toons:<br>
<a href=http://legalinsurrection.com/author/afbranco/><img
src="Loading Image...
</font> <p>
<img src="Loading Image...
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<img
src="Loading Image...
<p>
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<img src="Loading Image...
<img src="Loading Image...
<font size=7 color=red>Click below for related audio:<br>
<a
href=http://www.tila.com.hk/sounds/tila_voice/toilet_flushing_1614.wav><img
src="Loading Image...
<img src="Loading Image...
<font size=6 color=red>This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:</font>
<br>
<img src="Loading Image...
<font size=5 color=red>In Case You Missed It Dept.: </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>President Obama's new budget contains cuts to the tax
deduction for charitable contributions. Sure. Why pussyfoot around with sin
taxes when you can tax virtue? </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>A new study shows that California's planned
high-speed rail system will lose $300 million per year. The new California
reverse gold rush: throwing money INTO a hole. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>During a recent hearing, John Kerry said of Benghazi,
"we got a lot more important things to move on to". Like what? The statute
of limitations? </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>After the gun control bill was defeated, President
Obama said, "the gun lobby and its allies willfully lied about the bill".
Huh. I was waiting for him to blame it on a YouTube video. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red> -- Fred Thompson</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>President Obama offered to wash U.S. senators' cars
if they will pass the immigration bill. He wasn't kidding. The position of
car washer in the U.S. government pays a hundred eighty grand a year and you
only have to do it for two months to qualify for a full pension. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>Boston police tracked down and killed one of the two
bombing supects Friday as the brother got away. It was a long night. The
cops asked Twitter to stop giving tips to the suspect by revealing the
police's whereabouts, but they thanked CNN for throwing him off. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>The FBI dug into the past of the Boston bombers to
see if were they radicalized in U.S. mosques. The nineteen-year-old was fine
until he went to college. That's how student loans affect people when they
find out they can't get in-state tuition like the Mexicans do. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>George W. Bush will host his father George H.W. Bush,
Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and Barack Obama at the dedication of his
presidential library at SMU in Dallas Thursday. Imagine the five living
president side-by-side together. If they were cards, you would fold. </font>
<p>
<font size=5 color=red>Boston bomber Djhokhar Tsarnaev was discovered in a
backyard boat by the owner Friday. The guy's wife had ordered him to go
outside to smoke. It's the first time since World War II that tobacco
companies have been able to credibly argue that smoking saves lives. </font>
<p>
<font size=5 color=red>Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was taken by
ambulance to Beth-Israel hospital in Boston after his discovery. He's a
Muslim terrorist who's recovering in a Jewish hospital. The Jewish people
have survived for five thousand years but no one can figure out how. </font>
<p>
<font size=5 color=red>Russian intel confirmed Monday it warned the FBI
several years ago that Tamerlan Tsarnaev was a Chechen-trained terrorist.
It's not like the information wasn't used. The TSA was put on alert to watch
for women who might have a Chechen concealed in their bra. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>Russia offered the West help in tracking Chechen
terrorists after last week's Boston bombings. It has to be a group effort.
Within days the U.S. had tracked down the bombers, Britain beefed up
security for the London Marathon, and France surrendered to Chechnya.
</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>The AP was hit by a hacker Tuesday who tweeted under
the AP byline that the White House had been bombed. It was obviously a hoax.
Under the the new AP stylebook, reporters are not allowed to use the word
bomb, they have to say undocumented boom box. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>Bill and Hillary Clinton will be in Arkansas next
week for the dedication of the Bill and Hillary Clinton Airport in Little
Rock. It's a tribute to both their careers. Half of the airport is a
mile-high club and half of the airport is a coin-operated money laundry.
</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>Canadian Mounties foiled an al-Qaeda plot to blow up
a passenger train traveling to Toronto from New York. Everyone shuddered.
Trains are so susceptible to terrorist attack that we're allowing knives on
airplanes just to try to lure al-Qaeda back to the airports. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red> -- Argus Hamilton</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>All five living presidents will gather for the
opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library. President Obama says he
hopes he can pick up some ideas for when he builds his. It's going to be
called the “Blame George W. Bush Presidential Library.” </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red> -- Leno</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>A new report found that the worst job in the U.S. is
being a newspaper reporter. They say it's better for writers to just focus
on fiction and become a CNN reporter. </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red> – Jimmy Fallon</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>----------------------------------------------</font>
<p>
<font size=5 color=red>An elderly man had a massive stroke & the family
drove him to the emergency room.</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>After awhile, the ER doctor appeared wearing a long
face.</font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>”I’m afraid Grandpa is brain dead, but his heart is
still beating.” </font> <p>
<font size=5 color=red>”Oh dear God,” cried his wife, “we’ve never had a
liberal in the family before!”</font>